Outdoor Showers and Leopard Mating Calls. Oh, the Scandal!

For the past two weeks, everyone in our class has been working diligently, attending global health and visual literacy lectures, creating a storyboard for the documentary we have to complete for the course, learning how to properly film and edit, and trying to experience Swaziland’s culture every moment. We were all in work mode when Jonathan, our professor, asked us on Monday, “Do you all know what’s tomorrow?”Of course, I resisted responding with “It’s Tuesday!” Okay, maybe I couldn’t resist. The actual answer was far more exciting. It was time to go to Kruger National Park!! We are only allowed to stay in Swaziland up to 30 days in a single stretch without having to apply for a visa so we had to cross back into South Africa to reset the clock. Real sneaky. Real rebels. Instead of just going to the border and coming back again, however, we took the best vacation of our lives. Even the class feels like a vacation because it’s in Swaziland, but we’ll just say we “needed a break.”

I could get used to this. Don’t worry though, Vicky and I had an emergency lion-attack plan. We were going to hide with the toilet.

Yes, that is indeed a canopy bed. Vicky and I call it our lair. This is where Matthew comes to give bedtime stories.

I blend in really well with my neon green vest. Part of the wildlife.

We stayed at the Shishangeni, basically a 5-star luxury chalet resort in the middle of the wild surrounded by a shallow electric fence that we hoped would keep the lions away. Basically all we did those three days was eat, go on a game drive, eat, go on another game drive, eat, eat again, and sleep. A monkey ransacked our room and stole Vicky’s goodnight chocolate. At our meals on the deck, there was a guard with a slingshot to fend off monkeys. After one of our buffet breakfasts during which we accumulated several food babies, Vicky and I took back the camera that Jonathan, our professor, had left at the table. Naturally, we had to do something mischievous with it before returning it to him. That is what mature adults do, right? I began to take silly selfies with this DSLR, but Vicky saved the day with the brilliant idea of filming an MTV cribs episode. We started at the front door. I put on my valley girl accent, blasted “Single Ladies” in the background and gave a tour of our ultra fancy suite. The prank of the century, we know. Except we didn’t exactly realize that this video could be used as blackmail against us. I feel like this will be something that is played at our weddings to try and get the groom to run away.

“Gosh, I’m never getting married” -Diksha

Omg you guys, guess what?? I took my first outdoor shower ever! It was definitely a bit chilly, but that did not stop this daring and supa-fun girl from flashing all of the birds and impalas. You heard that right! I called the boys’ room via our in-suite telephone to ask for an outdoor shower buddy. No, not in the same shower. Pick that mind up out of the gutter, sheesh. Justin held up the deal on his part and I shouted out to him across walls at the top of my lungs, “HOW COOL IS THIS?!?!” Our group has definitely become closer than ever now. So close that Matthew, or “Spicy Matt” as we like to call him, has become brave enough to publicly tease me. On the drive to Kuger, we say baboons on the road and I instinctively shouted, “That one looks like it’s wearing a diaper!” I am admitting I said that so Jonathan and Paul can’t be first to post dumb things I say on the internet. Immediately, I apologized for speaking without really thinking, and Matthew quickly responded, “As opposed to all the other times you thought before speaking?” I truly feel at home.

This lioness was literally 5 feet away from us, followed by another female and her four curious cubs.

I could have died. Please take this second to appreciate the fact that this lioness chose not to eat me as I was fawning over he little cubs.

Can’t believe she posed for me. I’m a natural with the models.

One of my favorite birds in Kruger, the lilac-breasted roller. It looks like a character right out of Monsters, Inc.

Zazu!!!!! Lion King comes to life and this time I’m making a cameo appearance. Look out for the fourth movie in a theater near you.

Our sweet ride, the swagga wagon, as I like to call it. I’m pretty sure no one else agreed to calling it that, but who’s counting?

The game drives were absolutely amazing. We got to see the Big Five (lions, elephants, leopards, rhinos, and buffalo) all in one 6 am drive thanks to Duane who spotted the elusive leopard with his superhuman eyesight as we were speeding to get to a lion sighting. Cailley was on a roll with rhino spottings, even the rare and endangered white rhino. One of my favorite parts was seeing all the birds, especially because they are so ephemeral and free, not bound to the confines of the soil. We later looked up all the ones we had spotted in Justin’s South African birds guidebook that is written entirely in German. On Wednesday, we stopped our land rover to watch the sundown as we ate dried mango and biltong. It was the best evening of my family, spent in the middle of nowhere with some of my favorite people in the whole widest world. I’m getting emotional as I type this. (Warning: Watch Titanic with me at your own risk). At night, the stars were so serene and inspiring over the dark reserve that I just had to stick my head out of the vehicle to take in the sight. I don’t think Jonathan and Paul approved, so they took a highly attractive flash photo of me as I was caught red-handed breaking the rules. Evidence is below:

I was really sad to leave, but I have taken with me an invaluable skill. I can now make convincing bird calls and leopard mating calls. Okay, maybe not the mating calls, but I do know all about the mating process. Feel free to facebook message me if you’d like to know more about that. Definitely great general knowledge. I have to go take a shower now and go to a delicious breakfast at Sibane, but worry not. This Wild Brahmbhatt may be hard to catch, but the smell of watermelon will always lure her in.